1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 2 00:00:08,340 --> 00:00:12,210 I am 3 00:00:12,210 --> 00:00:15,250 chief master sergeant sara site and I'm 4 00:00:15,260 --> 00:00:17,482 the superintendent with the maintenance 5 00:00:17,482 --> 00:00:20,060 group at these operations flight 6 00:00:21,140 --> 00:00:24,680 well pregnant means that it's time to 7 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:26,740 stop and think about somebody else's 8 00:00:26,740 --> 00:00:30,300 struggles . And the LGBTQ 9 00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:34,150 community have had a lot of struggles 10 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,296 That I know of . Just in my military 11 00:00:37,296 --> 00:00:40,550 service of the last 26 years , we 12 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:44,460 changed a lot policies have 13 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:48,870 went away and aggression has 14 00:00:48,870 --> 00:00:51,270 stayed though . I think that community 15 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:54,550 there's still been some confusion and 16 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,407 what they don't know what people don't 17 00:00:57,407 --> 00:01:00,650 know prevents them for treating 18 00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:04,560 others as equals in respect . 19 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:08,920 So my cousin who was my first best 20 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,610 friends and as all best friends who 21 00:01:11,620 --> 00:01:15,490 tried to give them the best advice 22 00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:18,900 and where to eat and what movies to see . 23 00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:20,900 And when I came in the military , I 24 00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:22,956 thought this was the best thing that 25 00:01:22,956 --> 00:01:25,570 ever happened to me . So for style I 26 00:01:25,570 --> 00:01:28,010 wanted to tell my cousin Cherry about 27 00:01:28,010 --> 00:01:31,380 it and get her to my recruiter . So 60 28 00:01:31,380 --> 00:01:34,110 days later she was in basic training 29 00:01:34,110 --> 00:01:37,600 and super excited and dorm cheapen it 30 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:41,390 up , totally loving life and 31 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,660 went on to be stationed at my not . She 32 00:01:44,660 --> 00:01:48,340 had a great first duties location and 33 00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:50,860 she deployed was treated with so much 34 00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:54,260 respect beat easy . Mm hmm . 35 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,310 Made staff for the first time . And she 36 00:01:58,310 --> 00:02:01,750 decided to pcs to Grand Forks because 37 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,927 it was close to a college town and she 38 00:02:03,927 --> 00:02:05,982 wanted to study social worker . So I 39 00:02:05,982 --> 00:02:08,038 thought we went from my not to Grand 40 00:02:08,038 --> 00:02:11,480 Forks Northern to your base is okay . 41 00:02:11,490 --> 00:02:14,170 But Sherry was committed and she loved 42 00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:16,347 the Air Force . She loved being on the 43 00:02:16,347 --> 00:02:19,220 commander staff as a administration 44 00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:22,680 personnel is She went to grand forks 45 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:24,791 and things were going really well for 46 00:02:24,791 --> 00:02:26,736 her . She put on staff and she was 47 00:02:26,736 --> 00:02:29,050 closing in on her degree very quickly . 48 00:02:29,270 --> 00:02:32,100 And 9-11 happened and she needed to 49 00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:34,850 employ again this time . It was a 50 00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:36,850 little different because she had an 51 00:02:36,850 --> 00:02:40,430 apartment near the college . and over 52 00:02:40,430 --> 00:02:42,597 the course of that 18 months , she had 53 00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:44,880 acquired some snakes and 54 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:49,820 spiders and reptiles . She had a 55 00:02:49,820 --> 00:02:51,930 little zoo going on in her apartment 56 00:02:51,930 --> 00:02:54,350 and she just loved animals and she 57 00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:56,720 didn't know who she was going to get To 58 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:59,940 stay 6-9 months was what her orders 59 00:02:59,940 --> 00:03:03,160 were going to be . So she asked a 60 00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:06,870 fellow college student to move into her 61 00:03:06,870 --> 00:03:10,340 apartment and she deployed . Yeah , 62 00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:12,962 what we all didn't know was that fellow 63 00:03:12,962 --> 00:03:14,796 college student was actually her 64 00:03:14,796 --> 00:03:16,629 significant other . And when she 65 00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:20,450 returned , that college 66 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,394 student didn't move out of her one 67 00:03:22,394 --> 00:03:25,290 bedroom apartment . Not that it's 68 00:03:25,290 --> 00:03:28,110 anything to the family . We weren't the 69 00:03:28,110 --> 00:03:30,080 ones that had the concern . I was 70 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,191 mostly concerned because at that time 71 00:03:32,191 --> 00:03:34,302 it was still don't ask , don't tell . 72 00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:40,660 And it was illegal to be a homosexual 73 00:03:40,670 --> 00:03:43,300 in the United States Air Force . I was 74 00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:45,522 really afraid that she's gonna be found 75 00:03:45,522 --> 00:03:49,430 out shortly after her return . A 76 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,960 tech sergeant that was also in her UFC 77 00:03:52,740 --> 00:03:55,350 had been living down the hallway with 78 00:03:55,350 --> 00:03:57,183 his girlfriend who was a college 79 00:03:57,183 --> 00:04:00,260 student and recognized her 80 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:04,380 and they were nice to each other at 81 00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:06,690 first and then he realized that there 82 00:04:06,690 --> 00:04:08,746 was also a one bedroom apartment and 83 00:04:08,746 --> 00:04:10,857 there was another female living there 84 00:04:10,857 --> 00:04:13,090 and quickly put two and 2 together that 85 00:04:13,090 --> 00:04:16,600 they must be just assumption must be a 86 00:04:16,610 --> 00:04:20,510 couple . You just really started to 87 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:22,353 do some predatory stuff , taking 88 00:04:22,353 --> 00:04:25,150 pictures , following them and reporting 89 00:04:25,150 --> 00:04:29,140 back to his flight . Oh , I see that . 90 00:04:29,140 --> 00:04:32,960 He felt that she was a . Yeah , She 91 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,300 had called me and that's what she 92 00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:37,300 should do . And I said , well , you 93 00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:39,356 know , really , they can't ask you , 94 00:04:39,356 --> 00:04:41,578 but don't tell them either , right ? Um 95 00:04:41,578 --> 00:04:43,744 you know do what you're gonna do . And 96 00:04:43,744 --> 00:04:45,633 I suggested that she move out her 97 00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:47,689 significant other or find at least a 98 00:04:47,689 --> 00:04:49,689 two bedroom apartment that would be 99 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:51,550 less noticeable 100 00:04:53,940 --> 00:04:56,107 and you know they couldn't afford that 101 00:04:56,107 --> 00:04:59,460 to college students and young . And 102 00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:01,516 then the questions started where she 103 00:05:01,516 --> 00:05:03,349 was being brought into the first 104 00:05:03,349 --> 00:05:05,404 sergeant's office to the I . C . S . 105 00:05:05,404 --> 00:05:07,627 Office . Who is this person living with 106 00:05:07,627 --> 00:05:09,320 you ? You know what kind of 107 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,570 relationship you have with them ? And 108 00:05:11,580 --> 00:05:13,802 isn't that just a one bedroom apartment 109 00:05:13,802 --> 00:05:17,460 where does she sleep and sharing you ? 110 00:05:17,940 --> 00:05:20,880 That she was on the line and she wanted 111 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:23,650 to leave the military honorably . 112 00:05:25,340 --> 00:05:27,480 She had graduated with her bachelor's 113 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,551 and she's been accepted to a master's 114 00:05:30,551 --> 00:05:32,718 program for social work . And that was 115 00:05:32,718 --> 00:05:34,662 her goal was to be a family social 116 00:05:34,662 --> 00:05:36,884 worker , that's where her passion was . 117 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:40,330 Yeah it's Through that stress . She 118 00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:42,386 left the military and as she was out 119 00:05:42,386 --> 00:05:44,386 processing , she found out she made 120 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,960 Tech Sergeant 1st . So I think about 121 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,696 the stress that she was under in the 122 00:05:49,696 --> 00:05:53,080 depression that she went through how it 123 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,450 really affected her mental stability to 124 00:05:56,450 --> 00:05:57,561 leave the Air Force 125 00:06:00,540 --> 00:06:03,070 usually had a warrior's heart . Fruity 126 00:06:03,070 --> 00:06:04,150 loved service 127 00:06:07,140 --> 00:06:09,362 and so it did have a negative impact on 128 00:06:09,362 --> 00:06:12,840 her life . She turned to drugs , 129 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,510 she ended up dying of a drug overdose . 130 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,890 We don't know if it's suicide or it was 131 00:06:19,890 --> 00:06:22,760 just an accident and we'll never know . 132 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:26,670 And I often wonder what her life would 133 00:06:26,670 --> 00:06:29,003 have been like , had she gotten to stay ? 134 00:06:29,003 --> 00:06:31,226 And what kind of changes could she have 135 00:06:31,226 --> 00:06:33,250 made in our service ? How would she 136 00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:35,660 have continued to serve our country ? 137 00:06:39,940 --> 00:06:41,884 You know , According to the Trevor 138 00:06:41,884 --> 00:06:45,770 Project , which has said primary outlet 139 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:49,010 for the lbgt community and young adults , 140 00:06:49,940 --> 00:06:52,160 okay . You know , the people that are 141 00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:54,790 in that community have a 3% higher 142 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,540 chance of suicide . And with every 143 00:06:57,550 --> 00:07:00,680 negative interaction , whether that be 144 00:07:00,690 --> 00:07:04,510 physical or verbal , It increases 145 00:07:04,510 --> 00:07:08,040 by 25% . So as we 146 00:07:08,370 --> 00:07:11,450 as we continue to get airmen into the 147 00:07:11,450 --> 00:07:14,820 military , identify into this community , 148 00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:17,060 they're already at a much higher risk 149 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,920 than the rest of us that aren't in that 150 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:23,720 community . And I don't think 151 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:27,470 that the O I C and N C Y C ever thought 152 00:07:27,470 --> 00:07:30,810 about that with their actions line of 153 00:07:30,820 --> 00:07:34,480 questioning , the pressure is 154 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,960 having on her mental health and her own 155 00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:39,990 overall will be he probably never 156 00:07:39,990 --> 00:07:42,101 thought of her again after she helped 157 00:07:42,101 --> 00:07:44,530 processed . But what an impact it's had 158 00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:47,750 on her life and her friends and family . 159 00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:53,990 And even though the rules have changed , 160 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,910 you can serve openly . I still think 161 00:07:56,910 --> 00:08:00,490 there's a lot of harassment that goes 162 00:08:00,490 --> 00:08:03,940 on and it might be Sir paul 163 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:09,430 really visible . Yeah . But that 164 00:08:09,430 --> 00:08:11,730 community needs allies . You need 165 00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:13,851 people to support them to they're not 166 00:08:13,851 --> 00:08:16,018 asking for special privileges . You're 167 00:08:16,018 --> 00:08:17,851 asking me protected connected to 168 00:08:17,851 --> 00:08:21,260 respect just like you and I there are 169 00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:25,060 resources to help those individuals 170 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:28,270 that are coming out . You don't want to 171 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:31,340 be true to who they really are and 172 00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:34,960 surfing . Mhm Resources are 173 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:37,980 as generous on base as they are off 174 00:08:37,990 --> 00:08:41,930 base just to help them find resources 175 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,420 that and also find a place within that 176 00:08:45,430 --> 00:08:48,470 flight or that section or element to be 177 00:08:48,470 --> 00:08:50,581 who they are and support them through 178 00:08:50,581 --> 00:08:53,150 guys . The best thing is just listening 179 00:08:53,940 --> 00:08:56,170 sometimes when we ask questions about 180 00:08:56,180 --> 00:08:58,124 things that are really none of our 181 00:08:58,124 --> 00:09:00,790 business , it puts the other person on 182 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:04,350 the defensive especially if there this 183 00:09:04,350 --> 00:09:07,650 is a new adventure for them coming out 184 00:09:07,650 --> 00:09:09,817 and letting people see who they really 185 00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:12,400 are . It's very bombed And just to know 186 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:16,330 that that vulnerability needs 187 00:09:16,330 --> 00:09:19,930 to be honored to 188 00:09:19,930 --> 00:09:22,740 also help other people learn more about 189 00:09:22,740 --> 00:09:26,050 that community . They're not aware of 190 00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:27,760 the struggles and 191 00:09:30,740 --> 00:09:34,460 suicide dependency rates 192 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,760 just to help other people understand 193 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:40,510 and treat them with respect . So they 194 00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:44,440 have pride events in major cities 195 00:09:44,940 --> 00:09:47,107 and I think each installation they try 196 00:09:47,107 --> 00:09:50,980 to do some different events and 197 00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:54,030 as military members each of the months 198 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:57,860 advances , we should try to 199 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,880 me in an effort to go out and learn 200 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,260 more about the people that were surfing 201 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,630 diversity . Our diversity is our 202 00:10:07,630 --> 00:10:11,520 strength . We spend time getting to 203 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,580 know each other . It increases 204 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,810 our communication . It helps us 205 00:10:18,820 --> 00:10:21,030 understand where that other person is 206 00:10:21,030 --> 00:10:24,120 coming from . I think it's just more 207 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:24,820 harmonious .